College and Independent Living: What They Have in Common:
There’s more in common than you think when you send your child off to college or independent homes. Future students and residents have applications, tours, and move-ins before they start living on their own. Families similarly grapple with emotional rollercoasters from a different lens: becoming empty nesters.
Michele Bolos and Shalini Kapur...
… two members of the Gabriel Homes Board of Directors, and their husbands are sending their oldest kids to college for the first time. As their daughters prepare for independence away from home, the parents are reflecting on raising their kids for this moment. Michele and Chris’ daughter is enrolling at High Point University in North Carolina, and Shalini and Charles’ daughter is attending Roanoke College where she will also play softball.
Starting Transitions to College and Independent Living:
Michele believes incoming undergrads and residents can be independent when they have safe spaces to learn, fail, and grow. The dignity of risk is a person’s right to make choices and become smarter through their mistakes. A 2011 study finds that looking for personal strengths, weighing the outcomes, and planning for risks lead to more confidence and independence.
Shalini’s daughter learned about independence early on when she started traveling for softball.
Being away from home taught her to advocate for herself and form friendships on her own. She knew she wanted to play softball for undergrad, but Roanoke College stressed that academics came before sports.
“My daughter came this far by going with her gut and making the right decisions. She’ll succeed in college because she’s seen many personalities and has made smart decisions in all stages of her life.”
Michele says independence is ongoing from the time children are born.
From holding bottles to walking to driving, kids learn independence throughout their lives. To Michele, children’s victories build on top of each other to develop into the big day: moving out and starting the next chapter of their lives as adults.
“When my oldest joined Gabriel Homes and when my youngest went to college, I knew they would be all right,” says one parent of a resident. “I couldn’t control their situations any longer, but them being on their own was the best possible result. My kids became successful in their own ways.”